About Me

I work with gay men worldwide who are stuck in emotional and relationship patterns — dating anxiety, people-pleasing, attracting unavailable partners, and low self-trust. My approach gets to the root cause, not the surface.

Hi, I'm Derick Hachey — Certified Life Coach and guide for gay men who are ready to stop performing and start living authentically.

For most of my life, I didn't feel "broken." But I never felt fully safe being myself either.

I grew up in a time when there were no happy gay stories. No role models. No examples of what thriving looked like. So like a lot of us, I learned to adapt. I read rooms. I people-pleased. I achieved. I performed confidence while quietly carrying shame underneath.

From the outside, everything looked fine.

Inside, I was exhausted.

For years, I drank to quiet it. The performing, the vigilance, the constant managing of how I came across. It worked, until it didn't.

Six years ago, I got sober. Not because someone told me to. Because I was done managing the symptom instead of finding where it actually came from.

That's when I tried everything else. Self-help books. Mindset hacks. "30-day transformations." Nothing stuck, because the problem was never discipline or motivation.

It was shame.

When I finally stopped trying to "fix" myself and started understanding how my nervous system had learned to protect me, everything changed. Confidence isn't something you force. It's what naturally happens when you feel safe to be seen.

That realization is why I became a certified coach and built what's now the Unstuck & Unashamed experience — a step-by-step process helping gay men unlearn shame, build self-trust, and feel genuinely confident in who they are.

My work isn't about becoming someone new.

It's about finally coming home to yourself.

If you've ever felt stuck, not enough, or like you're performing your life instead of living it — you're not alone.

And you don't have to figure it out by yourself anymore.

If any part of my story felt familiar, I built something for exactly this moment. My free Unstuck Quiz will show you, gently, where you might be stuck — and what could actually help next.

No pressure. Just clarity.

👇 Take the quiz below